i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
