Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
