she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
