I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
