Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
