Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
