One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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