I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Randomize