So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
We just shotgunned beers for America
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I didn't notice because vodka
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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