Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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