That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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