You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
