question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
