I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
