how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
