He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
