we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
