I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize
