Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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