i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
