just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
