dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
