dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
