yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Randomize
