is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
