I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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