went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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