Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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