I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
