We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
