you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
