i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
