just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
