So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I woke up under a house in Key West
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
