Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
