Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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