My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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