The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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