marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Randomize
