I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
