Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
