he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
