Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
