I looked at my own cervix.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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