I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Randomize
