do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Randomize
