tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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