Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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