I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
