so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
