I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
