so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
